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31 December 2007

2008~it's going to be a really great year. I've decided that. And deciding is half the battle. We have a choice each day. To make it better, or to wallow in everything that's wrong. I have bad days. I have days where I can't speak without stuttering and days where I can't remember words or put sentences together. Those are the days I try to stay alone so that I don't have to see pity and sympathy in the eyes of those that love me. Johnny wants to think these days will get better. I think it's going to be a way of life for us~the 'new me', if you will. If it passes, great! If it doesn't, then we'll deal with it. Either way, it will be our choice.

My dad used to say there are only two things we have no control over. We all have to die, and we all have to pay taxes. Everything else is a choice. There will be things out of our control and actions will happen that we can't stop. But what we can do is control our reactions to them. Do I have regrets? Shoot yeah, but because of my choices, I am the person I am today. And although that person isn't perfect, I like her. She's stronger, she's more intuitive to another's pain, and she's far wiser than she was a few years ago.

Dad also used to say, "time stops for no man". It doesn't. As much as I wanted time to stand still so I could hold on to Jenny and capture forever that sweet smell behind her right ear, I couldn't. As much as I wanted time to stop so I could tell my grandmother just one more time how much I loved her, I couldn't. And as much as I wanted to hold my dad in my arms as he crossed over, I couldn't. Time marches on. And it carries us with it. We can, however, choose the walk.

I choose to put my hand firmly in His; my footsteps directly within His; and, my eyes on the beautiful place I know is there. I am so excited with this new year. There is this feeling in my soul that says it's going to be such an awesome time for our family that I simply can't wait to see how God is going to present it all to us. May 2008 be just as good for you~

1 comment:

Kelly said...

This got me teary.