07 February 2008

It Happened

Earlier this evening I came across something I've never seen before. Four pages of paper with scribbling and phrases written on both back and front. I don't recall ever seeing them, but I was the author. They were among some papers in a drawer of our desk and were written in the days immediately following the accident. I do not feel like going into the scribblings nor all of the phrases. They hurt too much. I do want to tell you, though, of one~

"I saw ddy"

this one written phrase ripped through my heart. Proof that I did see him, that I did want to go to him, and that I was sent back. Proof that the accident did happen, that it changed our lives, that it is in the past, and that life does go on. But it hurts and I don't think crying will ever make it go away.


Kelly said...

I am sorry. I can't imagine all the hurt both physically and emotionally you have been through. BUT you DID get to see some family on the other side. :o)

Nancy Hood said...

I did! and it so beautiful, Kelly, and so fresh, and he looked so young and healthier than I ever remember seeing him. I've wondered if the pain/hurt is from trauma or from not being able to stay there in the garden :)